I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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