look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
