ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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