Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
There r osticjed everywhere
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
