Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
