I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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