"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
