She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
