there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
