That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
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I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
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i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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