I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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