Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
