you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
