Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
