Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Drake has all the answers
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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