I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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