This is not my ceiling
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
