I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
