you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
