i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
