My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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