I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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