my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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