you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
