She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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