we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
