who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
