I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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