its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
