What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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