he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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