I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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