these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
