I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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