The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
