well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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