I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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