It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
