He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
