three words: i give head
three words: not that well
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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