And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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