"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
