Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
