you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
