I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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