bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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