something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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