dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
