so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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