Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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