Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
