we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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