I understand Curling. That high.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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