That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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