There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
