Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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