i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize