i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
