we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
