I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
