I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
