i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
