yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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