I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
