I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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