so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
