Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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