My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
