i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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