If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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