Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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